I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
