So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
