Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
