just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
