I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
