I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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