just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
