I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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