i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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