Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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