I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
