I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
