we're blogging at a bar
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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