Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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