They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So much rum. So many feels.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
