I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
