i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
