Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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