When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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