I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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