Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
