i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
