I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
