in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
