....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
