i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
