How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
