I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize