just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
