My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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