Grow some girl-balls and come out already
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
