This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
