I'm so fucking centered right now
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
