I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
