yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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