I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Randomize
