READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Never underestimate the power of titties
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
