try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
