I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
