what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
