So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
