I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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