I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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