i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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