Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My bed smells like the plague
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
