Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
