watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He passed out mid-signature
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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