I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
