So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
