yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
