I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
